


A Perfect Complement

by reginahalliwell



Series: Stuck on Your Heart [4]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s03e11 Stop Saying Lice!, Introspection, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Alternating, verbatim dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginahalliwell/pseuds/reginahalliwell
Summary: David finds out that Stevie and Patrick get along a little too well.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd & David Rose
Series: Stuck on Your Heart [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1712074
Comments: 6
Kudos: 74





	A Perfect Complement

**Author's Note:**

> All recognizable dialogue taken verbatim from Stop Saying Lice! with no infringement intended.

Eeewwwwwwww. Even with the shower cap and knit beanie protecting his precious hair, David felt disgusting knowing that Alexis had had lice _all night_ when she had been sleeping mere feet from him. Ugh.

“Hi,” David said, rushing into the Café to meet Stevie. “Sorry I’m late, it’s been a busy morning.” He sat down at the counter with a heavy sigh and turned to greet his friend. “How are you?”

Stevie’s eyes couldn’t help but glance at the very obvious plastic material that he was trying to hide under the knit. It was not a good look on him. “I’m fine, thank you,” she said in a saccharine lilt, her eyes brightening with a smile. “It’s nice to see you.”

“Mmm,” David hummed, his eyebrows raised in concern at Stevie’s tone. “Are you talking to me?” He glanced haphazardly behind him. “I’m just not used to that, uh, level of kindness.”

“Yes, we haven’t seen each other in weeks, so I was just saying it’s nice to see you,” Stevie said defensively, and it really had been a while since they’d been able to hang out.

“I’m gonna ignore that passive aggression and instead lean in to the fact that we’re both working professionals now, and Mama Oprah would be very proud of us.” His lip curled up as he tipped his head back and squinted a bit.

“Okay, that’s one way to look at it,” Stevie agreed.

“Um, so you know what I think would be super fun?” David suggested, revealing his ulterior motives. “If we hung out at your place tonight.” The man could not be more transparent. Well… except for the shower cap, which was entirely transparent and yet could not be more visible on his head. Stevie would have to try and snap a photo of him like this if she could get away with it.

“My place?”

“Mm-hmm,” David said, trying to seem casual and nonchalant, when in reality he was desperate to get away from the lice infestation of his motel room. He didn’t think he could sleep four feet away from Alexis knowing there were lice just making themselves at home on her scalp.

“You’ve never been to my place,” Stevie observed.

“Yeah, exactly,” David started, trying to put words in Stevie’s mouth. “You were just saying that we haven’t been spending as much time together, and that it’s been really bothering you,” he finished, trailing off quietly.

“Uh, I don’t remember saying that last part,” Stevie corrected, her brow furrowing playfully.

“Yeah, so I was just thinking, like, what about a late-night hang, or like, a platonic sleepover?” He wriggled his chest close to Stevie as he finished.

“Hmm,” she responded, taking it all in and nodding. “What’s on your head?”

He looked at her as though she had caught him off-guard but then tried to play it cool. “Oh, a hat, um, that I’m test-driving for the store.”

“I mean, what’s happening under the hat?” she asked, gesturing to the shower cap as her eyes danced with glee. David touched his head, worried (correctly) that part of the shower cap was peeking out from under the knit. “The other side,” Stevie guided him until his fingers found what they sought.

“Oh, I see. Yeah, um, that would be a shower cap,” David said, eyes closed and downcast in embarrassment.

“So, this,” Stevie gestured to his whole head situation, “would have nothing to do with the lice outbreak at the motel?” David blinked in bemusement. “Your dad just called me.”

“Mm-hmm,” David confirmed. “So I might be taking preventative measures. I can’t afford to have the store infested with lice.”

“I don’t think it works that way,” Stevie corrected him, “but just so we’re clear, your wanting to have a _platonic sleepover_ at my place would have nothing to do with the fact that your sister has lice?”

“Yes,” David confirmed, eyes closed so as to avoid Stevie’s piercing look. “That is almost entirely correct.”

“Oh,” Stevie replied, nodding. “And you’re absolutely sure that you don’t have lice? Because if you do, you’re not going to be bringing your little problem to my apartment.”

“I…” David closed his eyes in desperation, “do _not_ have lice,” he announced as confidently as he could, really hoping he was correct about that. Stevie nodded encouragingly. “But, if you wanted to head over to the store, and I don’t know, give my head a once over just to check, I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t say no to that.” David’s voice sounded was strained, like this whole situation was putting him on the edge of a breakdown, or a nausea spell, or something.

“Happy to help,” Stevie agreed. But you’re buying me breakfast,” she warned.

“I was already buying you breakfast as a thank you for you helping me and Patrick out at the store later,” David reminded her.

“Oh, right. Then you owe me alcohol,” Stevie said, upping her price. “And this time, don’t skimp. No well liquor for me when David Rose is buying,” she said, as though he still had the money for top-shelf. Which he definitely didn’t.

~

“Okay,” Stevie said when they reached the privacy of the store. “Hat off.”

David reluctantly pulled the knit cap off and set it on the empty counter. The shower cap came off next, revealing tousled hair that had clearly not been adequately styled in David’s panic this morning. His normally perfectly-coiffed hair was disheveled and curly. She wasn’t even sure if he had product in it today.

“Shut up,” he said, anticipating the mocking she was about to send his way. “I am not the filthy lice habitat that my sister has proven herself to be. My scalp is clean and healthy, and just because my hair looks like this doesn’t mean I’m unkempt.”

“Wow,” Stevie said. “That sounds like a problem _you_ think you have. Also, lice prefer clean scalps, so,” She gestured to his head, wordlessly asking him to bend over to an appropriate height for her to check for lice.

“Why don’t I just grab a chair from the back?” he offered instead. He was half a foot taller than her and if she was going to be as thorough as he needed her to be for his own satisfaction in his scalp’s cleanliness, then he should probably be seated.

“Okay,” Stevie agreed, and David moved quickly to procure a chair from what he and Patrick had agreed would be their staff room. Not the stock room, where they kept boxes of inventory on metro shelves, but the office, where David imagined Patrick would sit and do the books, where the microwave would be for them to heat up drinks when so many customers came in their beverages went cold, where he could escape from the inhabitants of Schitt’s Creek if they didn’t appreciate his aesthetic. Well, that was the idea anyway.

Pulling the chair out from behind the small desk, David returned to the store’s main room to find Stevie looking around. “It’s coming together,” he said humbly.

“David, this is great,” she insisted sincerely. “This has got to be so much work,” she thought aloud as she looked at every corner of the store, where David’s thoughtful touches were already starting to appear.

“Yes, it is.” He sat himself down as gracefully as possible in the chair, bending his head in invitation to Stevie, who immediately moved over to card her fingers through his dark hair. It was lucky that the entire store-front was made of glass, or they might not have enough natural light. She supposed her phone flashlight could always do in a pinch, but having two hands to work through David’s freshly washed hair was better than one.

“I’m sure you’re glad _Patrick_ is helping then, hmm?” Stevie asked pointedly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked. “You haven’t even met him, yet you’re talking about him to me like you know a secret about him. He’s my business partner.”

“Right. Well, David, I guess you’re just lucky to have a _business partner_ so devoted to helping you bring this store to life. I’m sure he’s going to be a great _asset_ to your store.” The way she emphasized the words, David could tell that she had strong opinions she wasn’t voicing, but he wasn’t going to fall into her trap. Not when he wasn’t really sure where he and Patrick stood, and not when Patrick was due into the store any minute now. And he was much likelier to be early than on time, as David had learned.

Just the other day, David had agreed that they would meet at 9:30 to start unpacking product, and when David walked in at 9:32, Patrick looked like he had already been there for hours working. It wasn’t even his store. Well, it was, but it was Rose Apothecary. It had David’s name on it, and even _he_ wasn’t trying that hard.

David closed his eyes as Stevie’s fingers moved through his hair. He had always liked this, and it had been so long since someone played with his hair. He missed it. It was also quite different when Stevie was doing this in silence rather than grabbing it during their friends-with-benefits phase. But she had always had nice hands, and despite the vitriol of her words, he had always appreciated that her touch was never angry or rude. She touched his hair like she cared about him.

“All clear,” Stevie announced abruptly while David’s mind wandered into their past.

“You’re sure?” he asked, standing up and turning to look at her doubtfully.

“I’m sure,” Stevie said. “Believe me, the Budd household had to deal with its share of lice outbreaks when I was growing up. This isn’t my first time.”

“Ew,” David said, scrunching up his face.

“What?” Stevie asked defensively. “I’m sorry I didn’t go to a private boarding school where no one ever got something as pedestrian as lice,” she said. “Schitt’s Creek Elementary has an outbreak every few months. Between me and my cousins, somebody almost always had them. I got really good at spotting the little nasties.”

“That is more information than I needed to know about you, and I’m going to try to forget it now for the sake of our friendship,” David announced. He turned and put the shower cap back on his head, carefully placing the knit beanie on top of it, before pulling out his phone camera to check that the shower cap was at least mostly hidden underneath the grey fabric.

“Why are you wearing that again, exactly?” Stevie asked.

“Umm, did you see my hair? There’s no way I’m looking like a mad scientist for you and Patrick to mock all day. I didn’t get to style it this morning, I was too grossed out at the thought of any little creepy crawlies. Plus, I needed to get away from Alexis as soon as possible. I thought the hat was a safer choice.”

Stevie nodded at his odd rationalization, and then something he said came to her. “Wait, me _and_ Patrick mocking you? Don’t tell me our resident business consultant can really keep you on your toes?” she gasped in surprise. Stevie suspected it was actually more a question of David feeling confident and attractive in front of Patrick, but she wasn’t going to say that out loud.

“I told you what he did when I first went in,” David reminded her. “Patrick was all confidence and sports metaphors. He might mock me more than you do,” he realized aloud.

“Well, good,” Stevie said. “You need someone to push your buttons. It keeps you humble,” she admitted. “And I can’t be here all the time to do that.”

“You’ll find out for yourself,” David announced. “He’ll be here soon.”

“Don’t sound so nervous, David,” Stevie said jokingly. “He’s just your _business partner_.”

David rolled his eyes and began to list the things that needed to be done, turning back and forth to assess the state of their inventory and what they needed to get accomplished by the end of the day. It was getting closer and closer to opening, and David was worried they wouldn’t be ready.

~

They had been working a few more minutes independently, Stevie’s sarcasm quiet for the moment. She couldn’t wait to meet this man who had her friend so on edge. Was David right about how much he teased David?

“Um, okay, so if you wouldn’t mind sorting these body milks by size,” David asked, bringing over a box of large glass bottles. “That would be great.”

Stevie took a glass bottle out to look at the label, the Rose Apothecary brand in minimalist white and grey, and the product name “Body Milk” clearly labeled on the front. “Can you drink these?” she asked.

“Um, it’s liquid moisturizer, for your body,” he explained. “So no, you can’t drink them.”

Stevie rolled her eyes and wondered when Patrick would arrive to put David in his place, humble him a little bit. She was pondering this exact question when an auburn-haired man strode confidently up to the Rose Apothecary door and walked right in, glancing at Stevie and the body milk she held in her hands before asking, “Did you ask if you could drink it too?”

Patrick set his pile of papers down on the counter, turning back to Stevie with a smile. He recalled that very conversation with David the other day.

“Okay,” David exclaimed in exasperation. “It says ‘body milk’ on the label!”

“You know,” Patrick explained to Stevie, “I told David that the label was gonna be misleading, but he insisted.” He pulled a bottle out of the box to demonstrate. “What was it you said? ‘Anyone with a fiber of common sense would know that it’s not _actually_ milk,’” Patrick quoted, turning to David sardonically to point to the clearly indicated product name on the label.

“What do we think body milk is,” David asked, “if not milk, _for your body_?” He did a little shimmy to mime the moisturizing of his whole body.

“Exactly,” Stevie affirmed quietly to Patrick.

“Stevie, right?” Patrick extended his hand. So this was the Stevie whom Patrick had heard so much and yet not enough about. “I’m Patrick. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Stevie grimaced. “None of it is true.”

“Oh, well, anyone with a fiber of common sense would know that,” Patrick repeated, deliberately not looking at David as he teased him.

Stevie wasn’t so courteous. She turned to David and smiled sadistically. “I like him,” she told David, before turning back to grin at Patrick. “I like you.” She liked this for her friend. He could actually not just keep up with David’s snark but give it right back. This was good.

David sensed the two of them ready to gang up on him. “Okay, is _this_ how this is gonna go?” he asked with a begrudging smile. “Um, because we have way too much work to do today for me to feel attacked by way of an imbalanced social dynamic.” He shouldn’t have spoken, because Patrick turned his attention wholly and on David and quickly noticed the not-so-hidden shower cap on David’s head.

“Are-are you wearing a shower cap?” Patrick asked in bemusement.

“Alexis has lice,” David explained, “And I’m taking preventative measures.”

“By wearing one of our hats that we now can’t sell,” Patrick finished explaining what David had done, though he couldn’t really believe his business partner was walking around even a town like Schitt’s Creek in a shower cap. He also couldn’t believe David would ruin product before they had even started selling it by infesting it with lice.

“Oh, don’t worry, he doesn’t have it. I checked his head,” Stevie confirmed for Patrick. “I think the shower cap is more of a…fashion choice at this point.” David glared at her in betrayal.

“Uh-huh,” Patrick said, looking between the two friends as David’s gaze tore Stevie to pieces. “But you’re still living with somebody who does have lice, so just cause you don’t have it now doesn’t mean you couldn’t get it tonight, or tomorrow, or whenever.”

David raised his eyebrows. “It’s almost as if you _want_ me to get the lice,” he accused.

“I _don’t_ want you to get it,” Patrick insisted, “I just, I think you should be careful. You can crash at my place tonight if you need to.” Right, that sounded friendly and not… something else.

David’s eyes met Stevie’s as she gestured in mock-surprise to Patrick behind him, pleased with herself and with this turn of events.

“Thank you,” David breathed out quietly, “Um, but Stevie offered her place this morning.”

Stevie shook her head and then quickly stopped the movement when Patrick turned to look at her. Her face was crinkled up in dismay, but there was nothing she could do at this point to make this happen for Patrick and David. Instead, she joked to Patrick, “Can _I_ crash at your place?”

He chuckled, enjoying the rapport he had already established with Stevie and imagining all the ways the two of them could use this friendship against David.

“This is really fun for me,” David deadpanned. “I’m having a lot of fun.”

“Well, I guess you’re all set for lice protection, then,” Patrick conceded. “But I still don’t think you should be wearing the hat around if you want us to sell it. I may not be as creatively in touch with the Rose Apothecary customer, but I can’t imagine any of them want to wear second-hand knits.”

“I’m not gonna take the hat off,” David insisted.

“Well at least take the shower cap off, then—” Patrick began.

“Drop it!” David ordered desperately, a little louder than he meant to.

Stevie and Patrick looked at each other in shocked surprise, laughing while David sighed to himself. This was not going well.

~

Later, when Stevie mentioned just how much of an eligible bachelor Patrick was, David admitted to himself finally that he couldn’t ignore the situation any longer. He was in business with this man, whose preferences he did not know and whose presence gave him a feeling in his abdomen he hadn’t felt in a very long while… maybe ever. No, he was sure it was just the eggs.

It was Stevie whose tone every time she spoke of his _business partner_ told David that maybe it wasn’t just him. Maybe the vibe he was sensing that Alexis had brought up when she had failed to charm him was there for a reason. Maybe this sharp-witted, efficiently-dressed man had a little more of an effect on him than he’d like to admit. And he never would, out loud anyway.

When Stevie suggested that Patrick’s offer to stay over at his place seemed a little more than business partner-y, he had insisted that Patrick had no ulterior motives, because how could he? Yet as David tried to fall asleep that night, the thought of a platonic sleepover at Patrick’s weighed on his mind. It penetrated his nearly unconscious brain, and then it slipped not-so-subtly into his dreams.

David didn’t usually sleep well next to people, unless he had been tired out enough physically by them to really have his mind calm enough for sleep. Even with Stevie next to him, David was slightly uncomfortable. Even so, he seemed to reach REM sleep quickly enough, because he did dream that night.

_Patrick walked into the store, his light shirt down unbuttoned as usual just enough to tease the sight of his chest, his smaller frame easily slipping through the narrow French doorway. Patrick smiled at him, his thin lips flicking up to one side in a smirk that lit David on fire._

_Patrick walked behind the counter, their store bustling and successful, and the smirk he gave David melted his insides instantly._

_Suddenly, the store was empty except David and Patrick._

_David walked over to where Patrick stood, behind the cash register, and put his broad hands on the shoulders of Patrick’s shirt, pushing him firmly through the beige curtain into the stockroom._

_“David?” Patrick asked, but it wasn’t confusion or disgust in his eyes. His smile made them twinkle viciously, and David backed him up against the wall of the stockroom, his hands roving everywhere, all over Patrick’s torso, as they held each other’s eyes._

_“Do you want me?” David asked him directly._

_The look in Patrick’s eyes told David he had been right. Every glance, every touch, every teasing remark. It had all been flirting. They had been flirting for weeks, and now the heat between them was palpable. They were so close to each other, David’s larger frame boxing Patrick into the small enclosed space._

_“Good,” David said, leaning in—_

“David!” David jerked awake, annoyed both at the sound of Stevie’s voice as it jostled him from sleep, and at the point of his dream where it had abruptly ended.

He was frustrated. And, apparently, hard. He rubbed his eyes to clear them and looked down, confirming his fear.

“Oh my God, David,” Stevie observed, laughing. “Go take a shower. I don’t want to see that in my bed ever again.”

David glared at her, looking down at his tented sleep pants with tired resignation before getting up to deal with his morning wood.

“I’ll be sure to let Patrick know you were thinking of him,” Stevie called out sweetly as he walked to the bathroom.

David didn’t even bother turning around, just held up a middle finger back to her. Stevie noted that he didn’t deny a word of it.

~

**Stevie Budd**

Hey, Patrick, this is Stevie.

I got your number from David’s phone.

**Patrick Brewer**

Oh, hey Stevie!

Thanks for texting.

I assume you’re both still lice-free?

**Stevie Budd**

We appear to be safe for the moment.

I thought it would be good for you to have

my number, so we can coordinate how to

keep David humble.

**Patrick Brewer**

He does need a push every so often, doesn’t he?

**Stevie Budd**

Less an occasional push and more of a daily shove.

That’s friendship!

**Patrick Brewer**

I’ll revise my definition.

Did everything go okay last night, then?

**Stevie Budd**

Lots of drinking and chatting, the usual.

But I’m thinking that was probably the last

platonic sleepover David and I will have for a while.

**Patrick Brewer**

Do I want to know?

I probably don’t wanna know.

**Stevie Budd**

No harm done. I just think David’s getting a

little familiar, need to keep him at arm’s length.

You may have to take him if there’s

another lice emergency. Sorry.

**Patrick Brewer**

Is this a custody negotiation?

You’ll deal with him Tuesday/Thursday,

I’ll take Monday/Wednesday/Friday?

**Stevie Budd**

Oh, no, I need Wednesdays off.

Ladies Night at the Dude Cave.

**Patrick Brewer**

See, now I can’t tell if you’re kidding.

**Stevie Budd**

I guess you’ll just have to get to know me better, then.

Either way, he’s all yours.

**Patrick Brewer**

Well I am his business partner,

so I think technically he’s half mine.

**Stevie Budd**

Yeah, that’s definitely not what I meant.

**Patrick Brewer**

…

Thanks, Stevie.

~

The next morning, David was certainly _flustered_ , whether it was his digestive system regretting his snack choices from the previous evening, or his greater sensitivity to the presence of his business partner.

“And you’ll need to call the electrician,” Patrick continued as David’s mind raced. “Those lights need to be rewired in time for the opening next week. We still don’t have insurance, and then there’s the matter of the door, which—” Patrick stopped speaking abruptly.

David was clearly not paying attention.

“Are you alright, David?” Patrick asked, looking at him in concern as he set down his pen next to their pre-opening TO DO list.

“Fine,” David said. “Continue. Electrician, insurance, door, what else?”

“Okay,” Patrick agreed, noting that David still seemed pretty out of it. He supposed that between Alexis’s lice and their imminent store opening, David Rose was probably just out of sorts. This was all new to him, and maybe his brain had reached its anxiety threshold. Patrick made a note to himself to prepare to handle all the things he was telling David about just in case. That’s what good business partners did, right? “Yeah, so the door hardware and painting job is lower priority. The insurance we need by open, and the lights, well, we don’t want people shopping in the dark. And then there’s the cash register. We need to make sure we have all the protocols in place before we open. Cash handling procedures, till balancing, inventory reconciliation, all that.”

David looked at him like a deer in headlights.

“Or, I could handle all that,” Patrick suggested, realizing that maybe David didn’t have the first clue as to how to get started with that kind of thing. “And then show you how it works,” he added, remembering David’s caveat about wanting to know everything that was going on with the business.

David released the breath he was holding and it seemed like a bit of tension left his shoulders as he did so. “That would be great. Thanks, Patrick,” David said, his mouth quirking up to one side in a sincere half-smile of appreciation. He hadn’t been wrong with what he had said to Stevie last night. Patrick was a perfect complement to him as a business partner. Maybe a perfect complement in other ways, too.


End file.
